Welcome to Connections

Your weekly pānui for tips, tricks, and strategies to deepen your connection with your tween, teen, or adolescent.

Kia ora Reader

We’re not mind readers. Not even close.

We will never be able to read another’s mind, yet it’s amazing how many of us sail through life thinking we can.

We make guesses, assumptions and speculations about what our rangatahi are thinking.

How often do we stop to check if we’re correct?

For the vast majority of us … not very often!

How different would our connection be if we slowed down enough to pause and ask, “Let me see if I understand, you’re telling me …” before we reflect back what we’ve heard.

Then we look at our rangatahi and wait - for THEIR nod. Or maybe it will be a shake 😂which is perfectly ok too.

A shake may mean they will explain it again for you. A nod means we do understand what they think 👏

When we’re connecting with our rangatahi, a pause is our crucial advantage. It’s what we need to slow down the (sometimes overwhelming) content of information. It gives us an opportunity to keep our opinions and thoughts on the down low, where we can process and develop a genuine understanding.

Slowing down gives them the respect of being heard. Of being seen. Of being counted as important.

You don’t have to make an instant judgement or decision. There’s no law that says parents of rangatahi must decide on a clear forward pathway within 2.5 seconds.

Take your time.

Create space for the information to process, for you to lean in with love and curiosity.

Before you know it, the solutions will arrive.

Kia pai tō wiki ... have a great week

Melanie

Melanie Medland is a communication coach, an author, and a course creator.​

More at www.beautifulconversations.co.nz​

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