Going flatting ...


Welcome to Connections

Your weekly pānui for tips, tricks, and strategies to deepen your connection with your tween, teen, or adolescent.

Kia ora Reader

Going flatting … it’s a big step!

How often have you stopped and thought about what kind of a flatmate your young person will be? We think about all kinds of things for their futures, like what they’ll do when they finish school and how they’ll make the most of their gifts and talents, and we work towards encouraging them to follow their dreams.

Yet how often do we pause and think about how our rangatahi will manage socially? Sure, we expect they’ll have friends and be a friend themselves. Flatting though is slightly different from being friends with people.

When we go flatting it’s often with a bunch of people we don’t know. Our flatmates are people who have arrived at the same address for a common purpose - to live there - yet they often have very different backgrounds. These people aren’t necessarily people we would pick in the same way we’d pick our friends.

Life becomes a whole lot easier if our adolescents are able to get along with each other in their flats as they negotiate a whole lot of firsts together:

  • First time away from home
  • Finding a flat and signing up
  • Shopping and cooking for themselves
  • Paying rent, power, internet and water bills

Waiting until our adolescents finish school before we suddenly start cramming a whole lot of responsibilities on them may be our first instinct, however is it really the best approach?

What if we layered these responsibilities on slowly? Teaching our rangatahi new skills every year so when they do get to first time flatting they’ve got a good idea of what to do and how to do it strikes me as being a better way to go. Letting my young people out into the adult world already confident they had the basics under control was a gift I know they have all appreciated.

This month the blog post is called ‘Is Your Teen Ready to go Flatting?’ If what you’ve read so far has got you thinking I encourage you to use this link to have a read.

On Sunday 25 August I’m running a one hour webinar called ‘The Flatmate Agreement’ and I’ll run you through getting you and your young person on the same page when it comes to becoming a young person who is confident in their level of self-responsibility. You can use this link to sign up. Priced at only $20 it’s a great return for your investment. The webinar will be recorded for those who would like to be there and just can’t make it.

Our young people are precious. In the craziness of this world it’s important they can navigate their pathways confidently and compassionately. Growing great humans isn’t a given, it’s an intention. Yes, it’s hard work. And they’re worth it.

Kia pai tō wiki ... have a great week

Melanie

Melanie Medland is a communication coach, an author, and a course creator.

More at www.beautifulconversations.co.nz

Click here for your complimentary strategy call.

Melanie Medland

Coaching individuals, families, and management teams to change the patterns of their communication. Magic happens when we connect to ourselves and others with clarity and kindness. www.beautifulconversations.co.nz

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